Bloody hell, another letter?
by Hmob1994
Summary: Me jumping on the bandwagon - England reads and replies to letters from around the world! Feel free to ask him anything from advice to personal questions! Rated T for England's mouth
1. Introduction

**Bloody hell, another letter?**

Good day, everyone.

I assume you've all read Spain and the Italy brother's letter corner. Rather pointless if you ask me… But America and France have been bugging me recently, and I decided to try my hand out at it.

N- Not that I'm doing it because they asked me, or anything! Don't get any wrong ideas! I just don't want to listen to them whining if I refused!

Ahem. Well, I guess that's it, really. Feel free to send me your questions, problems and fan-mail.

The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland

(England)

Hey everyone! Hmob here! After I read "Vee I get to write letters too?" by Dogsrule, and sent a letter as England, I suddenly got the undeniable urge to start my own one of these. So, this is me, jumping on the bandwagon. XD

Any pairing you want to comment on is fine! Even better if it's FrUK! *Hint hint nudge nudge* XD Nah, any pairing. At all! I'll try to respond to them all appropriately!

I don't mind if you want to send multiple letters under either the same or different characters, and OC's are fine too! XD

I think that's everything…

Until next time!

See ya!


	2. America 1

Kyaaa! First letter is iTickTock3478 as America! Thank you!

Dear Iggy,

You finally made one of these! I was waiting when you'd share your craziness with the world y'know. So come over soon, kay? Sorry that I'll butcher more of 'your' English language...

And be prepared for McDonald's. And lots of it.

Sincerely, YOUR HERO!

-Alfred F. Jones

Good Lord, could you at least _try _to speak the language properly? Stop dropping letters from the words any way you feel like it!

And my name is England. ENG. LAND. Not Iggy. It's like me calling you Amy or something…

Wait, wait, what craziness? The fairies are real, you twat! It's just you're not special enough to see them! They prefer me to you!

Like hell I'm coming around your place again. Last time I was there you left me in the middle of Texas with Mexico so you could go home and grab a burger. I don't even know why you had to go home to get one – you've got those damn McDonald places everywhere – you even managed to weasel some into France, although god only knows how.

Sincerely,

England.


	3. America 2

Heya! The second letter is another America, this time by Alix Cohen!

Hey England! Glad you finally got the letter thing started! How's it going so far?

I gotta ask: what was your New Year's Resolution this year? (was it to become a better cook? jk!) And are you keeping it still? France told me he'd already broken his, but when I asked what it was, he wouldn't tell me. Not cool.

My resolution was to be a better world leader. And by better I mean more heroic. So far so good.

America

PS Did your groundhog see his shadow? Mine didn't! Be jealous.

W- What? Didn't I just answer one from you…?

Oh well…

My New Year's resolution? Which one? I made several this time… I promised I'd stop drinking, cut back on government spending and try to go to church each Sunday.

I might have forgotten about them by the second week into the New Year, though…

I can imagine France's New Year's resolution. Perverted frog.

See you later, I guess.

England.

P.S. We don't have Groundhogs over here, America. And I'm cursing you to have a late spring right now, because I'm certain I'm going to be having one.

P.P.S. What was that comment about my cooking? Don't think I don't understand sarcasm!

P.P.P.S. Yes, what with the rioting within your allied country, I can see you're being extremely heroic. Now THAT'S sarcasm.

Hehe, this was quite fun to answer, actually!

I'd never heard of Groundhog day until now, so I had to google the shadow thing…

And please don't mind England's last comment! He doesn't mean it! I… don't think…


	4. Kitty 1

This third Letter is Kitty Kat sending a letter as Kitty. Cute!

Dear Iggy err England,

How are you doing? I hope that everything is going well for you!

So, I have a few questions because, well, I have never met you and you're a country and such.

First off, what is it like being a country? What is the best part and the worst part?

Second, I just wanted to let you know that I know you're not crazy and your faerie fiends are real. Don't listen to anyone saying they're not and you need to go to therapy. Haters gonna hate, you know?

Third, do you really hate the nickname Iggy? What about Artie?

Okay, now we're gonna get a little personal. Uhm... You know that... "Special Relationship" you and America have? Just... How special... Is it?

Speaking of which, do you ever top? I mean, no offence but I can never see you topping. My friend says you can sometimes, but I can only see you topping as a pirate. So who tops; you or America? Or do you take turns? That's kinda sweet too

Anyway, I hope you respond. You're my favorite country (well, tied for first) and I'm happy you are doing this. Oh, and I sent you some tea as well. Enjoy~!

~Kitty

To Kitty,

This is a pleasantly long letter… I better get started then!

It's pretty hectic being a country – even if humans don't realise it, we're always working to form alliances or holding meetings – not that we get anywhere with them, what with the Yank being an Idiot and the Frog being a pervert. I could list a lot of bad things, but the worst is probably how my health changes depending on the economy – I've had a bit of a shaky economy for quite a while now. Imagine a cold which lasts a decade or two. Also, I'm never quite sure if my people's opinions are affected by mine, or if it's the other way around…

There are times when it's hard to think of a good thing about being a nation. Probably the fact that I've been able to experience the lives of some of the most influential people. Shakespeare and Dickens, for one, but not just British. I've also met Ghandi, Descartes, Joan of Arc, Napoleon, Francis 1st, and…

Wait a minute, why are most of them French?

W- well, thank you… Not that it makes me happy that you don't think I'm insane, or anything! It's just… It's nothing!

…

R-Really… I don't care at all…

I don't like Iggy. I understand Japan shortening his name for me, but I don't understand why America had to pick it up! And Artie makes me sound like a child…

Hmm, what's next…

…

A-ah, it seems I spilt my tea, I, Um… Ahem, I can't read this next part. U- um… W-well…

I… I guess it's special enough… I mean, we're very politically close. America is the first place my boss goes to visit, and vice versa.

T- That's it, I swear!

I… I'm not sure, as a gentleman, I'm comfortable talking about this… although it's not just my pirate era. I was at the peak of my power during Queen Victoria's rule. But I was a gentleman then, and a gentleman doesn't force people into things.

O- Oi! Who just coughed! I'm telling the truth! W-well, most of it…

W- wait, America? H- he's just a kid, there's no chance he could top me! Ha… haha… ha…

Ah, well, thank you for the letter and the tea. You have a very refined taste. Although I ended up choking on it a few times while answering this letter…

Yours sincerely,

England.

Aw, Tsundere England is love… XD


	5. France 1

I will admit, despite being English born and bred, I really enjoyed this one – answering France, as RP'ed by Francegirl!

Allo Angleterre!

Onhonhon. You finally listened to moi! Perhaps you'll start to dress like me, non? Perhaps you'll face your blooming desire to be just like me! Or with me. ;)

So, Angleterre, good luck maybe making yourself likable!

Au revoir!

Francis Bonnefoy~

F-Frog!

L-like hell I'm listening to your advice! I just felt like spreading the wisdom of the British Empire! That's all! It had nothing to do with being with you! I mean, like you!

I mean…

Ah! S- shut up! T- take your frog language back to your own country!

England.

P.S. What "Blooming Desire"? You sound like one of your dusty old poets!

P.P.S. O- oi, Italy said we should spend more time together… N- not that I want to or anything, it's just, I don't want to turn down advice… not that I asked him for advice! That's ridiculous! W-where would you get that idea from?

Sorry, couldn't resist throwing a reference to Dogsrule there.


	6. Mossmoon 1

This letter is from Mossmoon! XD.

Hey, England, I screwed up in this mock trail thing. I ended up confusing everyone in the room...:( It seemed to make sense with me, but no one else got it...not I somewhat depressed...do you ever feel that way England? And if so, how do you help yourself get over it?

On a brighter note, I'm an American, so could please tell me what each of these words mean to you guys? I'm going to have to read some British literature soon, so I need to know what they mean: bangs, chav, Old Bean, git, and wanker. Thank you! :D

Also, if you see Alfred run by with a bunch of chocolate pudding, you should hide. I'm serious...I got him drunk...don't tell the prez, OK? Oh, yeah, and tell France that his box of...you know...stuff...come to my house again...I don't want them...

Sincerely,

One of the Hero's Citizens :D (America rules!) XD

A-Ah… I understand how you feel… I feel like this several times a year… it's worse around the 4th July, though… I generally go out with my brothers and get drunk… Or talk to Tinkerbell about it… Maybe you could try talking to someone? Or just go out to a party and blow off some steam – that's what most of the students at my place are doing…

Ah! Learning more about the fine English culture!

Lets see…

…

Um… I'm not sure if I'm comfortable as a gentleman to describe some of these to a young lady…

Well, let's start with the less offensive terms…

Chav is a fairly recently used word, although it's even in the Collins dictionary now. It's mainly used by teenagers at my place to refer to the sort of kids you find doing class A drugs and spraying badly drawn graffiti on a nursery school. It's unlikely you'll find it in many books, and definitely not the older works.

No-one at my place actually use old bean, it's just an American stereotype, but it's basically a reference to someone, generally male, not necessarily old.

Without going into _too _much detail, git and Wanker are both derogatory references to someone, but they aren't seen as bad as, say, bastard.

As for Bangs… it really depends on what context you're using it; I'm pretty sure my version of the use of 'Bangs' is rather similar to America's.

… You… got America drunk? W- Why would you do that to the rest of the world? Do you realise how much danger we're all in now?

And yes, I'll tell the frog next time I see him – it shouldn't take long for him to try to sneak back into my place. Again.

Sincerely,

England.

Cheer up, Mossmoon! I'm sure you didn't do as bad as you think you did!

But yeah, really the only word out of the ones you asked about that we use regularly is Chav, and occasionally Git and Wanker. But git and wanker are basically friendly cuss's – you'd use them when joking around with a mate, for instance.


	7. Charlotte 1

Heya! This next letter is from Phamenia as Charlotte! Enjoy!

Salutations.

My name is Charlotte. It's a pleasure meeting you Arthur. May I ask you questions? I hope you will not be bothered by them at all. First of all, how can you see fairies and unicorns? I -ahem- love fairies and unicorns. No, I'm not ashamed to admit it. I LOVE FAIRIES AND UNICORNS.

Errr, forgive me. Also, I may be too straight-forward but... Do you love Alfred? As in Alfred F. Jones? Not in brotherly or family. But as in lovers...?

Awkward question. Forgive me once again for my inconvenience.

Lastly, how do you figure out somebody's honoriFicabiliTudiniTatibus? Haha kidding. It's impossible. Kind of. Not really.

Ok, did you know seme you is hot? Like pirate wise... Pardon again. Fangirl is finally finding her way out. Before she awakens, ta ta for now!

Hello, Miss Charlotte.

No, no, not at all, ask away. I'm always open to questions.

Yes! Fairies and Unicorns are real! There is no reason to be ashamed of loving them! In fact, there is a very special reason I can see them. Fairies and Unicorns will only approach those with a degree of magic power, which is why Norway can see them too. It's also why a lot of small children can see them, before they grow up and loose the magic power which comes from being untainted by the world's trials.

Incidentally, it was my older brother Scotland that first introduced me to my favourite unicorn (her name's moondrop.) When we merged, me and him combined our coat of arms, and so we now both use the Lion and Unicorn coat of arms. Doesn't stop him from shoving all the responsibility on me, though.

Now next…

A-ah… Why does everyone assume we're dating! Ahem. Maybe France is spreading rumours again… Y- yes, that's it. J- just a silly rumour! Ah…haha…

Honorificabilitudinitatibus? Ah, that's such a fun word. I remember seeing it used in Shakespeare's 'Love labours lost'. It was quite amusing to watch the poor actor trying to pronounce it…

And really, it's quite simple to figure out when someone is putting on airs. Just ask if they're French. If they are, then they are generally putting on airs.

I hope this answers all of your… um, questions. Thank you.

England.

Is it bad that I didn't actually google anything for this. Everything here is stuff I already knew… yes, that includes honoriFicabiliTudiniTatibus. It means "To put on airs".


	8. Sheepatemyfanboys 1

This letter is from Sheepatemyfanboys as… well, sheepatemyfanboys. Cool name, by the way!

Dear UK,

I have business exam that I'm completely unprepared for. I tried studying with my father (he's an accountant, he should be good at that right? WRONG!) and after many arguments and tears (I had to promise never to make my father cry again) I am still totally fucked. Any advice on how to avoid being brutally and bloodily murdered by my mother when she gets the results back?

Yours, soon to be deadily,

SheepAteMyFanBoys

SheepAteMyFanboys (R- really? Were they welsh sheep? They have a habit of attacking random tourists… I should talk to Wales about that sometime…)

Good lord, fathers really are quite useless sometimes. Luckily, being a country, I never had a dad. The most I had as a dad was that Bastard Rome, and he was more like a very distant uncle I absolutely hated.

I have two suggestions for you – either get your mum very very drunk before she receives the results, or go stay at a friend's house for the next few weeks… Wait for her anger to die down. Failing that, I'll be happy to send France over as a human meat shield!

I wish you the best of luck,

England.

Don't worry, sheep-chan! Fight fight! XD


	9. Anon 1

This next letter is from Anon! XD

england,

hows ireland doing?

love and unicorns,

anon.

Anon,

He's doing annoying fine. Still trying to blow me up, so nothing new there. He sent a rabid leprechaun to my place the other day. He signed the package, though, so I knew that I had to get someone else to open it.

I think he's starting to lose his touch…

Good will and Pixie dust,

England.

There is so much I could say on the subject of the UK brothers… XD


	10. Mary 1

This letter is from cross-over-lover232 as a young girl called Mary, and completely melted my heart…

dear ,

my name is Mary and i am 9 years old. i am not a state, a nation or even a mirco nation so i hope it is alright that i write to you. Are Unicorns very rare nowadays? I have a hard time beliveing something so pretty and pure can exist in a world that is as hopeless and ugly as our own. Do you shop often at harrlods? It seems like a fine place to be, i hope one day if i workk hard and get a good enough enducation from school i can get a good job and one day be out sourced over seas to your land so i can shop there. It has been a great honour and pleasure to write to you.

faith, trust and pixe dust,

Mary

To Mary,

It's very nice to meet you, and yes, it's perfectly fine to write to me! I enjoy hearing how humans everywhere see us nations.

Yes, unfortunately, Unicorns are rare. Unicorns can only survive in clean places of pure magic. It pains me to admit it, but there are only one or two in England, and about five in Ireland.

It may seem like the world is bad and hopeless all the time, but Unicorns and other magical creatures such as Fairies are kept alive by the smaller happiness's in life, like the birth of a healthy baby, or a marriage between two people who share true love (Although now France is probably going to tease me for spouting such soppy lines.)

Harrods is one of my prides. It's beautiful at night, when they light it up. You can get almost anything there, and the inside is just as beautiful and detailed as the outside. Even France is jealous of Harrods, although he would never admit it. I do have to recommend it, so work hard! Beauty should be savoured by those who appreciate it!

Bloody Hell, now I really do sound like the frog…

Thank you for your letter.

Mermaid tails and Unicorn Hair,

England.

Kyaaa… so cute… but I think England needs some lessons on how to write to a nine-year old… XD

Ah, cross-over-lover232, thank you for warning me! I didn't know there was another England one… the only reason I used England (Besides being one of the characters I enjoy writing the most) I because I live there, so it's easier to answer questions about language and stuff. XD Thank you again!


	11. Italy 1

I squealed so much when answering this letter! XD, This is Dogsrule as Italy!

Ciao England!

Vee~ I just wanted to say hi! I was wondering if the next time you hang out with America or Big Brother France if you'll all eat pasta. It's molto buono, sì?

Germany has been yelling at me alot more lately I wonder why. All I did was make an umbrella poster with Japan's help because Japan said it's to show how strong our friendship is. Does he not like me anymore?

addio con la pasta!,

Italy Veneziano

Hey, Italy.

I'm sorry, but I never plan to hang out with those two idiots. They just tend to appear at my house and drag me out in the middle of work.

I'm starting to get curious about pasta… you talk about it all the time… Maybe I will try some…

Hmm… I wouldn't know about Germany. He does tend to shout a lot, doesn't he? Although I'm sure he still likes you. He's probably just… In denial, or something. I don't know. Maybe he mistook the umbrella for something else? Japan does have a lot of confusing symbols, so maybe there's something similar to what you drew which he took offense to?

If that's the case, you should probably explain that it's to show your friendship. Maybe make him something to eat – I have a good scone recipe I could let you borrow.

Pixie dust and fairy wings,

England.

Aw, Italy and England are so naïve… I can't imagine England would know too much about Japanese culture, unfortunately – if it wasn't for Anime, I'd still have the classic "Sumo wrestler and Sushi" view of Japan…

Don't take the recipe, Italy! Run! XD


	12. Eastern Cherokee 1

This next letter is from Shuridari-chan as their OC the Eastern Cherokee Nation!

Dear England,

Oh lord America and France made you do this...? My heart goes out to you. Anyway how's it been I haven't seen you since the French-Indian war!

Sincerely,

Eastern Cherokee Nation

(P.S. Make sure you give a good kick in France's as you say "Arse" for me)

Dear Eastern Cherokee,

Thank you. Your sympathy is appreciated.

God, I'd almost forgotten about the French-Indian war…

Well, I've been…

It's been…

I'm absolutely…

Ahem. I'm… fine. Yes. I've been fine in the last couple of centuries. Absolutely fine.

Ahem. How about you? I heard you and America made a casino at your place a decade or so back. How's that going?

Sincerely,

England.

(P.S. I've pencilled "Kicking the Frog's Arse for Eastern Cherokee" into my schedule for you, between "Hit the frog around the head for Germany" and "Force the Frog to appreciate my cooking".)

Unfortunatly, I'll admit I had to google Eastern Cherokee here…


	13. Mary 2

Hey all! This next letter is another from Cross-over-lovers232 as Mary again!

dear mr. kirkland,

I am glad you wrote back so quickly, i know it must be a very busy life style as a nation, lots of paper work and such. I am glad to meet someone who understands the creatures of the fey, i always keep hoping to meet one but i know it would be next to impossible with all the dirty air and water here in America. I live in the first colony named after your virgin queen in a very small town where many people vanished long ago. Do you ever have your feye friends help in pranking Francis? I think it would be a clever plan seeing as how he cannot see them to do something to his food or drink. Do you think it is possible to find a fairy mound in the states? I wouldn't quite mind vanishing into one and never coming out...

In the name of aslan, the son of the epoir over the seas,

Mary

Mary,

It was my pleasure to reply to your letter. It's not often I get the chance to explain the fey – all the nations apart from Norway is too stupid to see them. It's nice to be able to talk about them without being told to shut up.

It's been a long time since I've been to Virginia… I remember going there for the first time with Sir Walter. Now _he_ was a sop… he was almost as dedicated to Queen Elizabeth as I was.

Not many of my fey friends like pranking other people – fairies and unicorns in particular are very gentle – but Flying Mint Bunny and the Pixies are always willing to help! France is, in fact, still looking for his pot of Lilies the Pixies pinched a couple of weeks back. There's over stuff, but, it's, ahem, too vulgar for a gentleman such as myself to explain.

Fairy mounds are quite incredible. I wouldn't know whether or not you could find them in America, but I suppose it's possible some fairies decided to migrate to America… Although I wouldn't suggest vanishing into one. Tricky little buggers, Fairies…

Goblin shoes and leprechaun hats,

England.

I'm really starting to enjoy making up different ending lines… XD


	14. Italy 2

Yo! Here's another letter from Dogsrule as Italy! Enjoy!

Ciao!

It's still nice that you have friends who like to be with you!

And si! You really should try pasta! I can send some to you if you want!

But with Germany I did say it was a sign of our friendship! But he got all red in the face and yelled at me to take it down!

And…uh…you don't have to send me a recipe. I was going to try to learn how to make German food for him. Maybe you could give it to America or Big Brother France instead!

addio con la pasta di nuovo!,

Italy Veneziano

Italy,

Friends? A-ah, I… I guess… Maybe… If you turn your head, and squint a bit we might look a bit like friends…

You'd send some pasta? Then, I guess, yes please. I always prefer a good plate of fish and chips myself, but I'm always up for trying new things. America has been trying to shovel his 'Pizza Hut' shit down my throat for the last couple of decades, so it would be nice to try real Italian food.

Ah… I think I see what the problem is. Germany is really shy, isn't he?

Hmm. I hope you make up with him – the world meetings would be weird without you hanging off of him all the time.

Toadstools and cauldrons,

England.

Aw, Ita-chan is so cute… I can't help but feel I'm making England too nice… But I couldn't possibly be mean to Italy!


	15. AquaGrace 1

Hey! Next letter is from Aquagrace!

To England/Arthur

Ohhhhhh, you're well handsome and I feel so privileged that you represent my country! I think you're waaaaayyyy better than America or France.

Anyway, If you had to marry a country, who would it be?

And which order does it go in with your brothers from Oldest to Youngest.

Well, that's all from me,

stay handsome (I love your eyebrows), from AquaGrace

To AquaGrace,

A-Ah, thank you… N- not that that makes me happy, you bloody wanker! That doesn't make me happy at all! G- go play on the motorway or something! I'm not happy!

Marry? T- that's a bit extreme, isn't it? Well… I suppose Japan would make a good wife… He's rather feminine as it is, and he's clean and good at cooking…

But he's only a friend… And that blank stare of his is pretty creepy…

Liechtenstein is pretty cute, I guess, and we share the same anthem in different languages, but I worry that her brother would skewer me with a rusty drainpipe if I even look at her the wrong way…

Me and China lived together for a while, but we didn't get along…

I'll make a list of qualities I'd like…

A good cook

Good in bed

Has a history with me

Looks good

Has a stable economy

Lives close to me

There…

…

That looks suspiciously like…

Just a second.

MUST NOT BE FRENCH

There. How's that?

Now, if we use these qualities…

Huh… what is this? There isn't anyone which matches this! What the hell!

Ah, damnit… I suppose there's Belgium, but she doesn't have a very long history with me at all…

My Brothers? Well, Scotland's the oldest, and most obnoxious. He calls me every winter to laugh at the government's lack of preparation for the snow the last few winters. Then there're the Ireland twins, but South – or republic, as he insists on being called – has gone off to live in his own house, and North is rather trigger-happy. Me and Wales are next – we're twins. We don't look alike at all, but that Idiot Yank keeps mistaking Wales for me, and then gets beaten up by Wale's Dragon.

Yeah, Wale's has a dragon. It's called Cadwgan. He's not the only one – Scotland has Nessie, and he occasionally shrinks her down so he can carry her around in a fishbowl, I have my fairies, unicorn and flying mint bunny, and North has a leprechaun that disappears the moment you look away from him, sly bastard.

I suppose Sealand is the youngest, although the others don't really count him as their younger brother.

Well, that's it, really.

Hubble, bubble, boil and trouble,

England.

Ohonhonhonhon, A bit of Tsundere there, Iggy!

Seriously, I could talk all day about the UK brothers.


	16. Indonesia 1

Here's a letter from APH-Indonesia, as their OC Indonesia. Indonesia-chan is doing her own letter corner! Go visit her sometime! XD

Dear England,

How are you? Is France still harassing you on a daily basis? How is everything where you are? My home is just so far away, that it's impossible to let my boss allow me to visit, though our bosses have been on good terms, so it shouldn't be a problem.

The only people who really visit are Australia, Japan, and America, and things can get pretty weird...I think, even though I'm used to America's crazy antics.

Please visit? It would be really nice to have someone who's a little saner around, and it would be nice to see you again.

sincerely,

Indonesia

ps, could you please kick big brother Korea's ass for me? He kind of snuck up on my, and tried to claim my breasts, and that's ten times worse, when you're actually a girl, and not feeling too great...and that's the very nice way of putting it...

Indonesia,

Good lord, he is. I'm terrified to say I've gotten used to it…

It has been a while since I went to Indonesia, but I've been trying to sort out everything at my place. I would love to come out to visit – it's been a while since I've left home for anything other than business.

And the House of Lords at my place have been bugging me to strengthen our relationship.

Oh dear, has Australia been visiting you often? I apologize for anything he's broken… or stolen… or any animal's he's set loose…

I'm a little bit thankful I'm not his legal guardian anymore… He's always been a bit of a problem child…

I hope to see you soon,

England.

P.S He's still doing that? How very indecent… I feel your pain. Living next door to the international pervert has taught me to sympathise with fellow victims. Have you tried a frying pan? It apparently works rather well for Hungary…

P.P.S I see America's forced you into starting one of these as well. I'll send a letter to you sometime.

Of course Iggy would sympathise… XD


	17. Prussia 1

YATTA! I got a letter from Prussia-sama! XD This is sent by xPuppetxWithoutxStringsx, or Ore-sama Prussia as she's signed here. XD

England,

Hey, I have decided to grace you with my awesomeness!

France and Italy mentioned this the other day at West's house, and being awesome, I had to send a letter!

Your welcome!

Anyway, I know we haven't spoken much but France is always annoying us talking about being shot down by you. It's like I know you already, kesesesese~ How are you and France by the way? With his un-awesome bragging I bet he's gotten some from you by now, ja? I remember him saying something about topping you, kesesese~

Damn, West is home and I'm in his study...

Later,

The awesome Prussia!

Prussia,

I see you haven't changed at all since the seven year's war – you're still as loud and obnoxious as always. I really have to wonder how Germany puts up with you all the time…

Hmm? F- France has been talking about this? Oh, and Italy too… I'm not quite sure how I'm supposed to react to that…

Well, I know at least it can't be anything good, if that frog is involved. Let's see now…

Oh, France has been talking about me? I wonder…

W- what? What the fuck has the frog been telling you? I-it's not true, I'm telling you! None of it is true! Don't believe a thing that comes out of his mouth! He's a goddamned liar who can't be trusted to tell the truth!

L- like I'd EVER open myself like that to that frog, of all people! No matter how attractive he is, or how alluring his eyes are, or how he manages to touch all the right places…

…

A-ah, I mean, um… I- ignore that…

Bye…

England.

P.S. I heard you're quite the drinker – want to come out drinking with me and my brothers sometime? I warn you, North Ireland is never drunk. NEVER.

I… I love you so much right now… Major… FrUK… XD


	18. Argentina 1

Heya! This next letter is from Argentina! XD

¡Hola, Inglaterra!

Please don't be mad at me for not writing a proper letter! I'm sort of in a hurry right now...lo siento!

You were forced to do this? By Francia and los Estados Unidos? That sucks, amigo. Send them some of your poisonous scones! (That's what they're for right? España told me, but I'm not too sure...)

He's coming to visit next week. You should really come! We can have an awesome game of fútbol, yeah? I miss playing with you! And you guys can make some crazy European food; you know I like it!

I have to go now-Chile's getting muy impaciente. Hasta luego!

-Argentina

Argentina,

Ah, no, it's okay if it's short…

P-poisoned? Spain told you that?

Ahem. I'm sorry Argentina, you may not be able to speak to Spain for a while. He may be… detained. In hospital. Nothing too serious… Maybe with a cricket bat through his head… or a rugby ball down his throat…

Anyway.

That idea does sound rather appealing, actually. If you don't mind, I think I will take you up on that offer. A good game of football with some old friends sounds… nice. I suppose this will mean I have to hold back on killing Spain for a while, though.

Send my regards to Chile.

England.

Ohohohohoho, Iggy isn't very happy with spain now, is he? XD


	19. Alaska 1

Lol, quite a funny one from Alaska Jones here… XD

Dear England,

When I was 11 I didn't get my Hogwarts letter. I just want you to know that I am still extremely pissed about that.

You can just go crawl in a hole for all I care.

~Alaska Jones

Alaska Jones,

I know, I know, I get thousands of letters about that _every. Year. _It's not my fault – you're just not magically talented enough.

How's having America and Russia as parents going?

Hogs wings and monkey horns,

England.

Ouch! Low blow, England!


	20. America 3

Here's another America by iTickTock3478.

Dear Iggy,

No, your Iggy. You may call me your hero, since I'm one anyways. Anyways, I don't really care how I butcher yo language. Cause dats what up fo sho. ^^

Just kidding, brows. But a little slang doesn't kill..right..um..er..git!

Plus if your fairies exist, so does Tony. About the whole Texas and Mexico thing, I'm really sorry! I'm just a little forgetful! Please, pretty please? I'll even choke down a charred scone for you. I'm just that kind. But France actually likes my burgers, secretly. Though he was really offended about the whole fries ordeal saying 'These things are an abomination! How dare you name these after fantastique moi?' yeah.

Sincerely,

Your used to be colony.

P.S. I won the Revolution. Go awesome me.

Idiot Yank,

T- that's… good lord, I must say I am actually speechless at the misuse of my language… I wonder if this is what France feels like whenever what's-his-name speaks Canadian French… And if that was an attempt at English slang, I'm going to go ahead and hang myself. You, dear yank, is what my youth would call "a right Chav".

Forgetful? You forgot about me? How is that any better?

Actually, I've always wondered – why did you call them French fries? I mean, it's not like I didn't get my kicks out of watching France sob in the corner of the World Conference for three straight hours, but I was just curious…

Sincerely,

England.

P.S. You're a twat.

The funny thing is, us English don't often use the word Twat to purposefully offend… it's the same with Git. We're much more inventive and subtle when it comes to actually insulting someone…

Oh, and don't worry about the 2 America's thing! It was fun!

Terrifying, but fun… XD


	21. France 2

Here's another France, this time by Alix Cohen!

Bonsoir, mon cher. It is so nice to see that you have admirers, and I could not resist adding to their number once more.

Cher Amérique is mistaken: I did in fact tell him what I resolved for the new Year; however, he persisted in the childish assumption that I was joking. What _did_ you do to that poor boy's sense of humor?

Next Monday is the day of Saint Valentine. You have free time, oui? Perhaps you can visit for the evening, and then I will tell you what my resolution it

Amour,

François

France,

A-Admirers? Well, Naturally, since I am the Great British Empire!

Somehow I don't think he was wrong to assume you were lying at all, Frog. You're a man of indulgences – you always have been. And our senses of humour are completely different! He's too brash to understand my humour.

I'm well aware that it's Valentines… I've been reminded by America, North Ireland, Wales, Scotland, South (I'm sorry, the _republic of_) Ireland, Spain, Denmark, Prussia and Italy… And I don't even speak to Italy that often!

L-like hell I'd visit your home! In the evening, on Valentine's day, of all the preposterous-

A-Although, I am holding a party at my house – Not that I wanted to, it's my brothers that bugged me – And I wondered if you would come.

N- not that I want you to! I-It's nothing as preposterously ridiculous as that! R- really! I-It's just, Scotland wanted you to, and all… T-that's it, really!

W-well, see you there…

England.

P.S. There will be lots of people at the party, so don't think you can do anything vulgar!

Lol, tsun~tsun~dere!


	22. Estonia 1

Here's another letter from Alix Cohen, this time as Estonia.

Dear Mr. Britain,

Thank you very much for helping me with my transition to the euro at the start of this year. I do wonder, however: with your financial expertise, you could have been a benefit to the euro community during the recent troubles. Why is it that you have not also changed your currency?

Thank you again,

Estonia

PS I would have asked America this, but my Internet connection has been down for several days: has he made progress on the nuclear reduction treaty with Russia? (I hope so!)

Estonia,

It's no problem at all – you changed quite smoothly to the Euro. I'm a little impressed…

Ah, the Euro? I've had France bugging me about this for a while now.

There are lots of reasons, really; my banks make a lot of money through changing euro to pounds and vice versa, and taking away that income would hit the economy quite badly. There are various other reasons… but really, I want to remain individual; I've always preferred the edge of the European rabble to the centre of it, and this is part of that…

Sincerely,

England.

P.S. The Nuclear Arms Treaty is going as well as it could, with that Yank being involved. He doesn't talk about it much… when I ask he goes oddly quiet and starts blushing…

Did I mention I'm a huge RussAme fan? ^/^

Oh, the Euro question? I had a moment of panic when I realised that I didn't actually _know_ why we still used the pound? I always just took it for granted…

And no matter what you hear, it is NOT because we're Xenophobic. We are stubborn, cold, and stuck up at times, true, but not Xenophobic. The only countries we really insult is France – but they're French, and really, that joke tells itself – and America. And seriously, if we can put aside our differences, numerous as they are, with France in order to sign a Defence Treaty, then I doubt we would have any major problems with the rest of Europe.

Ahem. XD


	23. Hawaii 1

Next is a rather Hyper letter from Ghost-dark as Hawaii. XD

Heya Brows,

Still bein' all tsundere? Tsun~tsun~dere~dere~!

Guess what? I beat Maine in a chocolate eating contest! WOOHOO! Ifeelreallypumped! Ormaybeit'sthesugar!

You got chocolate? Don't lie to me!

Maybe Alaska got chocolate! Chocolatechocolatechocolate!

Stay fresh,

Hawaii

P.S. CHOOOOCOLAAAAATE! Send me some!

P.P.S. If ya don't know, I'm a DUDE!

P.P.P.S I think Maine ate too much. OH MY GOD, WHAT IF HE'S DEAD!

Hawaii,

… Wow. Just… Wow.

Who the hell gave you two chocolate? More importantly, who the hell gave you enough chocolate to have a _competition?_

Okay, I want you to walk to the nearest patch of water and stick your head in it to cool yourself off.

Of course I have chocolate, who do you think I am? I'm the birthplace of Cadbury's, for heaven's sakes! I _always_ have chocolate!

Somehow I don't think Alaska would have any chocolate. Go bother America for some. Or not… his chocolate's crap…

Sincerely,

England.

P.S. NO.

P.P.S. I think I gathered that the last time you sneaked into my house for chocolate…

P.P.P.S. W-what? Died of Chocolate? Um… Try feeding him a crème egg.

Yes, Us Brits value our chocolate. Don't mess with the chocolate, bitch. You can insult Roast Beef, you can insult Fish and Chips, Hell, you can even insult Tea at a push, but insult chocolate and we're taking you down.


	24. Kitty 2

Here's Kitty Kat again as Kitty!

Dear Arthur,

See I didn't write Iggy or Artie!

Anyway, thanks for responding to my letter! And I'm sorry I made you cough on your tea. I'm just curious, you know?

So this year, I started an Anime Club at my very small school. Do you know what anime is? it's those shows Kiku always talks about. I was wondering how to get some more people interested in the club. We've had parties and we watch shows, but we've never had more than ten people show up. I also feel like I'm not being a good enough president. Like, I feel that I'm not the best person for the job. Any advice?

I would also like to ask a few questions about you too, Arthur. Just what does make your food so bad? Or at least, everyone says it's bad. Personally, I love fish and chips. I have also always wondered who is Sealand's mommy and daddy? I mean... You both have the same name...

Anyway, I hope you enjoy the tea! I wish you very well!

Much love,

Kitty

Kitty,

No, you didn't. Thank you, I guess…

I vaguely know about Anime… Sealand has recently become extremely interested in it, and won't stop jabbering in my ear about it.

I see why you would be worried… But, talking from experience, I've always found a small group who all enjoy something to be much better than a large group who are only vaguely interested. Why do you think all the great empires, including both of mine, crumbled? A smaller group means much less rioting.

A good leader never doubts themselves! They're strong and loyal to their group! And they don't arrange damn marriages with damn frogs without telling you beforehand…

A-ah, but since it's a school club, maybe making sure everyone has fun? Regular events and all that lot…

My food isn't bad! It's just that everyone else is too conceited! They don't understand the value of good, sturdy food that's been created with the knowledge and wisdom of the British Empire!

Sealand? Well, since he was made by humans, as opposed to being a natural piece of land, he doesn't actually _have_ a parent – but please don't tell him that! I really don't want to be stuck listening to him complain about it. He calls Sweden his dad, though, and Finland his mum – although, as far as I can gather, Finland isn't too pleased with that…

My human name, however, is different – Henry 8th was the one who called me Arthur after both his brother and King Arthur of the Round Table, and the name Kirkland was introduced to me later when me and my brothers all took it. As Sealand is seen as my brother, the only logical choice was to share my surname with him…

I hope that answers all of your questions,

England.

For anyone who didn't know, Henry 8th's older Brother, Arthur, was killed in battle before he could become king. That, combined with the fact Henry had an obsession with the old Arthurian ideas, often holding balls and joust's with an Arthurian theme, leads me to think that he would have been the one to name England.


	25. Sealand 1

Yay! I got a letter from Sea-Kun! (Aka, Herro Kitty)#

Dear (jerk) England,

Hiya! I can't believe you agreed to do this, you jerk! Does this mean that if I annoy you enough you'll admit I'm a nation?

I don't want to write letters to a jerk like you D:

So that's why you should come to the awesome nation of Sealand! Not that I want to see you or anything. Papa Sweden bought a new videogame for me, but he won't let me play it! You gotta convince him, you jerk!

I think Latvia is knocking on the door so I have to go since he's more important than writing a letter to a jerk like you. See you later (you jerk),

The Awesome NATION of Sealand

Dear Brat,

Yes, I agreed to do this, but that does NOT mean I will give into you! You annoying me is completely different to France annoying me. Mainly because I'm less in danger of being mentally scarred…

Then don't write them. When did you even learn to write, anyway?

You haven't given a single reason to go to your sea fort…

Wait, Sweden did? Are you sure it's safe? Sweden isn't exactly known for his child-friendly video games… Me, Japan and What's-his-face had to babysit America for a month after he played one of Sweden's games… Amnesia, I think it was called…

Sincerely,

England.

P.S. Stop hanging out with Prussia. He's a bad influence. If you've already started to call yourself Awesome, then I'm afraid it might be too late…

Aw, Sea-kun! I wuv him…

But seriously, the game amnesia is some messed up shit, man…


End file.
